Memoirs from a Big NJ Indoor Flea Market

So I just got back from a massive indoor flea market in southern New Jersey... And, oh my. It seems an entire race of humans exists that I had never realized before. I mean I knew that they existed on individual levels, but I didn't know that they gather en-masse to peruse the shelves of fried-dough antiquity every weekend.

By the way, I'm not talking about regular old run-of-the mill trailer trash; not just your average morbidly obese, orthodontically uninsurable, diabetically amputated, spousally abusive ignorami whose genders are obscured by patchy, moley mustaches and skullets. I'm talking about a race of, almost sewer mutants; incommunicable, unfuckable, illiterate, hungover polygons with tatooed knuckles and visible tumors inside their face. And they all seem to be happily frolicking about the racks of hats and bootlegged movies and used guns, just thrilled that they're not at work validating identification points at the DMV. What a sociologically interesting pocket of humanity this is...

I almost felt like Darwin as I--now working full time--could pretty much afford to purchase anything in the entire flea mart, but still refused to withdraw money from the $2.50 surcharge ATM, and passed up the $30 re-manufactured NES system that I quite fancied; but I watched a family of wheelchair-bound Nascar fans spend half their month's income on new shoes, flavored tobacco and a wicker lawn-dragon. Coincidentally, I had just watched the latest George Carlin special last-night, in which he goes on an extended rant about how corporate America owns the country and controls the population with shopping malls, where Americans can eat and shop all day fully distracted from the fact that big business owners have ruined the landscape and structured our lives into pre-Fight Club modernity. But this should be different. The flea market is really a shopping mall full of small, struggling, privately owned business where hardworking people try to make an honest living, and offer a decent value for their imported glass pipes, ethnic bologna pretzels and stolen stereo equipment. The whole scene really boggles my mind, and as I drove home I passed a trailer park, where dozens of mart-bought decorative lawn ornaments were scattered about as if a tornado had picked up an entire yard sale from one house and re-distributed the contents unevenly about trailorhood. Is consumption such an american value that the bush voters need to really prove the terrorists didn't win by wasting money on handicrafts, crappy consumer electronics, and babies; and thereby keeping themselves locked in the near-poverty margin rather than saving their income and investing it in businesses, real estate, or their own education? Something to think about, next time you're about to buy a DVD or CD for a $20 markup, when someone you know can probably lend it to you or tape it for you. Illegally! And GOOD, by the way, because we need to let them know that we need our arts and entertainment in our veins, and if the only way we can get it is from stealing because $20 increments are not just unreasonable, but plain unaffordable, fuck'em. No offense, Jelone.


Paul Tsikitas said...

You are a modern day prophet.

And why the fuck did you go to a flea market? Was it a venture to study this species of humans that you obviously didn't know about? You obviously never had a jog in retail where you run into these folk all the time.

Seriously, why were you at a flea market? It better have been in search of SNES games.

Dr. Ryan P. Carey, D.D.S. said...

Well I had a few retail jobs, but it was at Wawa and a Gas Station, where the mixture of people was dense enough that I didn't really notices an entire underground race...

I went to the flea market actually looking for video games and an effects processor for my guitars and new keyboard. Only ended up buying a gift for my mom's birthday and my favorite imported candy (the red and black rasberries). But there's a pretty sweet video game store there that I reccomend checking out. I would have purchased the NES system had they had the right combination of necaserry NES games...

I'd say top 10 NES games: (in no particular order)

The Legend of Zelda (already have on game-cube consignment with danno)
Tecmo Superbowl
Mario 2
Mario 3
Various Mega-Man games
Mike Tyson's Punch-Out
RC Pro-Am Racing
Blades of Steel
Kung Fu

j. leo said...

Here here, on both your observations of mankind and your NES list.

Today, while I tried to listen to Jim Crammer's radio show (not as good as watching him, but the best thing on talk radio here), I heard instead the cosumer advocates talking about good places to get suits in LA for less than 500 dollars, and I chuckled in my shirt-tie-jacket-pants arrangement purchased entirely at Goodwill (with 20 $ shoes from Payless). I then went to Disney headquarters for an internship interview, and it worked, the guy didn't even say to me, "Sorry kid, we don't get much poor around here."

I interviewed well and led him in a resoudning chorus of MOKIE PIE, MOKIE PIE, MOKI MOKI MOKI!!!

Anonymous said...

Tonight at Midnight, VH1 is airing a 30 Minute Beck concert.

GonzoMC said...

I totally support the sharing of speciously obtained media. Get File anyone? Torrents say what? I'm gonna go right now and find where I can download those vintage games.