Digital Drugs and Shel Silverstein

I read an article about 'digital drugs'. This company--iDoser--sells mp3's that you listen to with headphones, and the tones in one ear are programmed at a different megahertz frequency than the tones in the other ear. This supposedly alters changes your brainwaves in a way that simulates getting high off of recreational drugs. Pretty important stuff because, one thing I noticed as a society--we simply aren't getting high enough! And the times that we are, we're usually paying cash for it instead of just stealing it like we do all the rest of our entertainment.

I'm definitely not going to try this. the last thing I need is to be giving some shady company access to my brainwaves... Next thing you know I'm sleepwalking into the white house with a steak-knife and Larry King includes my middle name when he introduces me to America.

Digital drugs? The company that sells em, they say on their website that it's a completely safe alternative to street drugs. I'll bet, nothing strikes me as being safer than unsupervised tampering with my neurological patterns. They say, "It's a good way to quit regular drugs!" Are people really gonna phase this in to replace marijuana? Ten years from now some kid will be at a concert and go, "Oh dude this is my favorite song!" and out come the Bose noise-canceling headphones and iPod. He gets a long satisfying hit of mp3 and then takes the headphones off. "...I missed it? how was the concert? What? Most of us are 32 now and have careers?"

In other news I wanted to share some pictures of one of the creepiest authors of children's books in history. His name is Shel Silverstein--he referred to himself as Uncle Shelby on his children's books--and it's no surprise that he passed away in 1999, less than a year after national implementation of the Amber Alert. If you see a gentleman with an appearance similar to Silverstein, it's recommended that you definitely don't let him communicate with your kids via book, memo, post-it note, email--and definitely don't let him sell your kids any iDosers!


No comments: